Remember me always
by evil-buny
Summary: In the midst of sorting out his feelings for her, Sesshoumaru was presented with two marriage proposals, Rin's and his own. What will be his decision? Will his procrastination cause him to lose the one he loved forever?
1. Chapter 1

Hi everyone,

Yes, I'm back to writing, unbelievable as it seems. I had this idea of a fic in the feudal era, a continuation and just couldn't let it go. It's a short one, probably consisting of only a couple of chapters. So, without further babbling, the prelude to the story…

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Too little, too late

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Her hazel eyes were lifeless as if she were already dead as she stood at the end of the infamous cliff, the sharp rocky edges which dressed the north side lining his ancestral fortress. The hard winds blew on her, cruel and unsympathetic, as the silken sleeves of her pale green kimono flapped furiously, seemingly pushing her dangerously to tip over to her eminent death. Sesshoumaru's heart was pounding out of control, a thick curtains of perspiration lining his brows as he sped toward possibly the only girl he had ever felt for, one he might never dare say he loved… till this day, this very moment where he was about to lose her forever.

"Rin…." Her name trailed from his blood smeared lips in a deafening cough as he closed in at the limited speed he was capable of. No….please… he added that in his mind. In his heart he knew if she'd jumped and died, he had no power to revive her again. He had long discarded the sword left behind for him by his father, the Tenseiga.

Wrong… he corrected himself. The sword was not able to revive the same person twice. Moreover, his father never had the intention to leave him the sword permanently. It was only in his keeping, in his possession for one and one purpose only…He was meant to complete it for his half brother, for Inuyasha. He smirked. Perhaps, he should be flattered that Chichiue had thought so highly of his abilities rather than Inuyasha's.

But how cruel was Chichiue to be so very very unfair… he had once clung to this thought of hatred and immense jealousy which might have consumed his very soul. However, since then, too many things had happened and in many ways proven that, without the reliance of a weapon, without reliance on his father's strength, he had grown more independent, stronger, more confident of his own powers. Hence, upon his father's death, he had only left him one and one thing only, one which could be of the most importance in his entire demonic life… It was a girl. It was her… it was Rin.

He growled as he grabbed his chest in desperate attempt to control the excruciating pain throbbing both on his pricked finger and from his heart. The very thought of the girl had again aided the spread of the poison in his body, the poison from the midnight rose.

Is that not yet another obvious indication that he was, in fact, in love with her, with Rin? If not so, then, why is the poison affecting him at all? Is it not true that such flowers containing a unique acute poison, once pricked a person, would trigger off an unbearable sting if they were to think of the one they love. With his powers, he could easily neutralize its effects in an hour or so, compared to others who would suffer for three days or more or even die from it if they were not careful.

But time was not in his favor. He did not have an hour. His now deepest fear was that he might not even have a minute left to go to her before she chose the unthinkable.

Why had he not been able to sort out his feelings earlier? Why had he waited till it was too late? No, he corrected himself as he spat. He had long sorted out his feelings for her. He knew… he loved her. He had loved her since when? He no longer saw meaning in remembering and back tracking. It had been just too long ago, before it was morally ethical to possess such feelings for one so young, before she was even old enough to understand what love is, he had already been in love with her.

Many of those times, he was merely denying, to the world but mostly to himself, denying not so much that he had developed feelings for a human, but the fact that he had allowed such feelings to grow at all. In the eyes of his court, he was her guardian and she was his ward, a more fatherly figure rather than a mate, a husband. Even in the demonic realm such rules apply. Demons despised immoral unions, that of father and daughter, that of mother and son, of a teacher and his student, and between cousins who are related by blood. Even when Rin had no such blood ties with him, every demon in his court had viewed them as father and daughter. As the leader and lord of his pack, it would seem most disastrous to create an uproar if he chose to go otherwise.

But now, he finally understood that he didn't care. He didn't care if he turned against the whole world. He didn't care a damn what others think of them or even, think of her…now that she was….

At that thought, Sesshoumaru's heart pinched painfully, of both regret and of the poison acting up in his blood again. If he had revealed to her more obviously that he had no intentions to marry another, perhaps then, Rin wouldn't have met with such ordeal. He had come to understand her too well. Her girlish pride would never be allow her to live with such disgrace, of being forever labeled as one who had been dishonored.

Sesshoumaru growled, his claws sweeping aimlessly. He regretted that he had ended the sorrowful life of that despicable lecher too easily. He should have pulled out his limbs one by one, make him scream in equal pain as the girl. He should have dug his black perverted heart out with a spoon for taking too many looks at her, for having the nerve to propose a marriage, for lusting over her youth and beauty and for daring to think he could act on it.

He shook his head to clear the sweat accumulating blurring his vision of her. His worried eyes squinted to study her expression, wishing fervently to guess correctly what she could be thinking, what she might be about to do. Yes… she had been with him for so long now, following by his side. He had grown to be able to tell her moods and what was on that innocent mind of hers just by a breath she silently gasped, a slight twist of her brows or even a second of change in her pulse. He would recognize her scent long before she arrived by his side. He knew her like no other and he knew too… she was the same. Even when he had never shown and told her so, he knew that she knew him.

Through the years, she had become probably the only one soul on this earth who could decipher his mood changes from his expressionless face, from his inscrutable persona. So many times, he would only smirk to himself at how well the girl would guess his feelings, his intention of actions and sometimes, his reasons behind them, no matter how in depth and hidden he'd think they were. This simple fact awed him with no end and at times, the thought that she could be the one…his soul mate… even sprang in his mind, though he would immediately dismiss it. No… he was never a demon who's into such weakness… love. His hand… was meant only to hold a sword… not a female. He was only meant for conquest… of power not of love.

His golden eyes turning fiery red, his breath was almost coming to a standstill as he read on her face what he most dread…her answer. She had turned to look at him for a split second, his fast traveling ball of power toward her direction and it was more than enough for him to guess it correctly. He was certain what he saw her eyes were telling him though her lips did not move to speak. Sesshoumaru-sama…. Goodbye…

In the next second, she had disappeared into the darkness beneath.

"NOOOO!!!!" He roared out breaking the eerie silence of midnight, his hand reaching desperately to grab hold of her…..

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End of chapter 1

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Hi again,

Hope you like the beginning of this fic. Reviews, comments are always welcome!!!!

Till we meet again…

evilbunny


	2. Chapter 2

Hi hi…

Just a note… This fic is based closely on what's happening now in the manga itself. i.e. parts about the Tenseiga and about Rin being dead in hell and Sesshoumaru couldn't revive her again, they're all from the manga itself. If you haven't read it and are interested, let me know and I'll send you a link which you can check out the latest chapters…

Also, this chapter contains some explicit content… so you've been warned…

Chapter 2: The midnight rose

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About two months back

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At his favorite spot the demon lord stood over looking the dark bottomless valley below him under a pitch black backdrop filled with tiny lights adorning the night. How contrasting it was, to face a heavenly display above and a deadly craven beneath. Such ironic co-existence had always been of life.

He let off a soft sigh, as a shallow breeze caused his knee long hair to swirl, dancing with the moving night air. He turned, one hand reflexively lifted to flick some loose strains caught within the fine long lashes of his crimson lid.

His nose wriggled as he picked up a faint scent … her scent…even before she had arrived at his visible vicinity. _Rin…_ At the corner of his eye he spotted her, casually moving closer and closer. Though he'd always preferred to be left alone, spending these quiet times of unearthly hours undisturbed with his thoughts, he didn't really mind if the unexpected intruder were her, especially when this night, his thoughts were mainly focused… on her.

How often he would spend these sleepless nights thinking merely of her. He wouldn't have noticed how fast time had passed if he didn't witness how rapidly she had grown and blossomed since he first met her, or rather, since she trespassed into his life during his weakest moment. Where she had barely reached his knee then, at two months to her sixteenth birthday, she now stood only a little below his ear when barefooted.

Eight summers… all these millions of minutes just whizzed past as he battled Naraku, finally destroying the wretched Hanyou and his evil plan of possessing the Shinkon-no-Tama, bringing his long travels with the girl, the toad demon and his pet dragon to an abrupt end. He had then returned to his ancestral fortress where only his mother was left as the guardian.

_Hahaue…_ his honored mother.

He only remembered briefly visiting her once while he pursued Naraku, the reason, to find out about his father's sword, his father's will, to complete his meidou. Even then, his mother had made use of Rin, almost causing her permanent death, to convey a message till this very day he was still learning… compassion…the value of a life.

Did his near lost of the girl really teach him this trait that everyone claimed he lacked? This trait of weakness mostly manifested in the human race, does he need it in the first place? He knew… it wasn't that he didn't have it; it's just that he didn't need it…

Mercy… if he had learnt it and used it, would he be granted the same by his race, one that was known to be ruthless, one that was only concerned about self survival. Transcendental animals they were, not frumpy humans ever hanging words like compassion, mercy and…_ love_… on their lips, a word they ever so over used and understated in their actions.

Demons never spoke about love, yet it was ever so frequently acted upon. Each demon would live a life they chose for themselves, according to their destiny, of conquest or on the gaining of higher powers or of simply roaming the earth they would dwell in for thousands of years like an evening gone. Or…if fate so allowed, they would be able to find a mate they would take for life, a soul mate, one they would live and die for, one they would live and die with.

His nostrils wriggled again. Her scent was changed direction. Rin… she hadn't come looking for him. He merely thought she was. She probably had other plans this night.

Sesshoumaru's lids fluttered close with another sigh. A short silence followed as he searched his inner emotions. His brows furrowed. Disappointed? Was he feeling disappointed that Rin's intentions were not what he expected? Deep in his heart, was he secretly hoping that she would join him on her own accord in the appreciation of this soothing calmness.

So many times during his travels had he spent such nights with her merely enjoying a silent stroll where none spoke, ever since she had been a child, to a teenager then to a young lady at the beginning of her prime. Ever so sparingly during those times when the toad demon was completely dead in his snoring slumber, he would allow himself to engage in a short conversation of nothingness. Such were rare, as he had always been known as one of few words, only that of utmost importance would be voiced. Yet, to her, with her, he would somehow be tempted into a short chat, or just listening to her as she spoke innocently of her aspirations, her dreams.

_Simple…_ they were.

Most often, it was one that indicated her desires to follow him forever… forever as in reference to her measly human lifespan. Indeed… so short was already her time and yet, her determination to endeavor in nothing but to be by his side baffled and bemused him to no end. Before she had made such a solemn decision, had she even seen or explored the world? Wasn't she interested in adventures of her own? Had she even met any other male she would feel the same for… or more, especially one of her own race? Would she change her mind as she grows older, tired of being amongst demons who looked exactly the same five years ago and today as compared to her, who had at least sprouted by a few feet?

Sesshoumaru let a hint of a smile appeared at a corner of his lips. However, more than height she had changed over the years. Her thin childlike body had taken the most of these…changes. Slender, curvy and graceful her figure had become as nature took its course. Her light brown eyes had turned a darker hazel, more deep-set and pronounced though the curious gleams and innocent gaiety that flowed from within them seemed never changing. Her hair was now to her knee like his in long wavy locks of black with purple sheen under the afternoon sun. Where she used to have that childish crooked ponytail she had replaced it by tying half her hair up into a crooked bun, ornamented often with fresh flowers of the season.

He only dared use the words 'beautiful, 'enchanting', 'alluring' in his mind, though he could sense that every other male demon in his court had not missed the obvious.

_Softness of a human …. scent of a demon with which she was raised… _

Who could resist such unique charisma? Still, no one, not even one wretched demon, had the audacity to lay a hand on her.

_But what about…himself?_

Sesshoumaru must admit he _does_ adore the girl, ever since she had come to be with him, ever since the day he saved her… or perhaps, she saved him… considering the new found experiences and emotions she stirred in him right from the very beginning of this… relationship.

But does he perhaps…._love_ … her?

Not that he was totally appalled by the idea but… is he capable of love? He had lived a live of battles, of fighting to self improve. At the age of a demon of four hundred and fifteen years, he was still very much considered as a late teenager. Though it wasn't uncommon that demons of his age had already taken a mate… a life mate… a soul mate. But for the young taiyoukai, love… a life mate… will only hinder and not assist his aim of building on his aspirations… his empire… one that is much larger, stronger than that of Chichiue's. Then… only then… would he have surpass his father.

But Rin… would she be able to wait that long?

The demon lord's eyes flew shut in deep thought. Now why did her name always come out of nowhere at this topic of finding a mate? Even he himself was profoundly bemused. When the time comes for him to select a mate… if ever he will… it would rightfully be one from his own clan… the phantom dog taiyoukais…. perhaps a distant cousin. Even Chichiue and Hahaue's marriage was somewhat prearranged. So would his be so too?

Instantly Sesshoumaru arrived at the answer. No…. he'd never allow a third party to decide on such issues like marriage for him. In fact, he'd never allow anyone to decide on anything for him. He would_ never_ allow himself to be in a position of compromise.

But Rin… why Rin?

Sesshoumaru shook his head. Yes, he admitted to adoring the girl. But to viewing her as a possible partner, there were more issues and complications than meets the eye. Firstly, she is human. Secondly, his court had always viewed their relationship as one of guardian and ward, it wouldn't be proper if he claimed her to be his own out of the blue. Thirdly, lastly and most importantly, he wasn't sure if he was ready for love. Even if he could overlook and disregard the first and second…as he had so often disregard the rules of the world (he was never one who complies just to please the mass numbers), even then, he concluded that he wasn't quite ready for such intense relationships with anyone.

But could Rin wait that long for him to … decide? Would she fall for another? A human male?

A strange sort of emotion stirred within him at that thought, the possibility of Rin eventually returning to own race, to a human mate. It was unnerving…a dilemma which till this day he could not resolve within himself. Even since the time Rin had almost died the second time, ever since that time he realized he hadn't the power to revive her again, the thought and regret of not letting her go back to her kind had haunted him now and then. Numerous times he fought internally for an answer but he couldn't find it.

But till this day, the remembrance of the fact that he had almost lost her to death, would set off a bone chilling unease within him. He recalled wielding the Tenseiga to no avail, and that Rin was lying there cold and without a pulse…on the road leading to hell. He had been unable to save her then and it made him feel so…. helpless…powerless. He had not wished to be God. He only wanted the only one important thing he had come to treasure in his life to _stay_ in his life.

Truly, Rin might be protected from his battles if he insisted on leaving her behind in a human village. But will she be safer with these …. humans? Are they really a gentler race compared to demons?

He smirked and spat. Humans, alike demons, consist of both good and evil. Rin was not much safer with them than with him anyways. Hadn't that been too obvious already? When he first encountered her, hadn't she been a victim of abuse, always seen with numerous bruises on the little of her face? At the very least, now, in his court, it was an unsaid rule that if any harm were to befall the girl, any and everyone directly and indirectly connected to it would be slain. Period.

Sesshoumaru turned, his thoughts interrupted, forgotten. A swift breeze had brought to his knowledge that Rin had gone eastward. The demon lord smiled again as his brows lifted, entertained by this possibility of a slight adventure. Where is she heading to this night? Not being able to suppress both his curiosity and the urge to seek that simple answer, he knew that his moment alone was over.

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Taking one deepen breath of the crisp night air, Rin stretched out her arms as if embracing the glory of lights or rather, be embraced by them. She scrunched back wrapping her frame in her own arms as she felt a sudden gust of cold wind. She had come out in her white silken sleeping yukata without her outer cloak and now, she was suffering the consequence. Still, this was not enough to deter the girl from coming to the back garden of the fortress. This, her favorite spot in the entire compound, belonged to the lady of the western lands, Sesshoumaru's hahaue. Though the lady had not really shown particular adoration for her since she arrived here as a child, Rin knew she wasn't disliked either. Sesshoumaru's mother was somewhat like the western lord himself, stoic and hard to comprehend.

The girl fought back a giggle. As Jakan-sama once said while swirling one webbed finger in the air, Sesshoumaru-sama had probably inherited his infamous traits from the lady herself, other than that distinctive emblem of the crescent moon on his forehead. Nonetheless, the girl was put in charged of this flowery patch of land since she became of age to be able to independently attend to the daily weeding, planting and watering.

Rin bent down, her long tresses cascading down like a fan around her. She reached to cradle gently a delicate magenta flower in her palm, feeling the supple texture of its petals. The name of the flower, the midnight rose, had gotten its name as it only blossomed at the dead of night. It bore also another more common title, the passion flower, due mainly to its unique character. If anyone, human or demon alike, were to be pricked by one of its thorns, for the next twelve hours, they must guard their senses from …love, senses which included sight, smell, touch and even thoughts. If they even bear the slightest thinking of the one they love, the sting would trigger a poison which untreated properly, might be deadly.

And of course, being the caretaker of this garden, the girl had inevitably been pricked before. However, the poison from these needles had never once affected her. Why? Perhaps, she had been too young to bear such feelings for anyone.

The girl pluck a petal from the infamous flower, then placing it in her mouth as she closed her eyes. _Sweet…_ and then as she bit in more…_ bitter_. Many said that such is also the taste of love, first sweet as you entered and then turning bitter as you suffered after a love lost or unrequited. Is that really true of what love is?

After pondering upon it for a while, the girl decided she wouldn't know. She hadn't been in love before with anyone in particular. Not one male in the vast court of Sesshoumaru was she interested in. Not one can compare to her….

Rin stopped short in her tracks.… _Sesshoumaru-sama_…. Never had she come across another male whom she could deem more important than her lord of the west. She had idolized him as a child, viewing him more as her hero rather than her guardian. She had respected, admired and even … _loved_ …him. But… is this the same love that the others were talking about, one which was intimately between a male and female?

The girl blushed. Though she knew very well how much she adored her lord, to think of him as a life partner, a husband, mate, this was the very first time. She loved him, wanting to follow by his side, be with him for eternity. But is that the same sort of feelings a girl would have of a man, the sort which starts with a kiss and ends with having a baby? Rin sighed. Though she had learnt that kissing was linked with babies, somehow, there was a huge missing chunk of information missing in between the two she has yet to comprehend or even be taught.

In Sesshoumaru-sama's vast of generals, warriors, ladies, ladies in waiting, chefs, musicians, there was no one in particular who would tell her more about such private issues of the birds and bees. Right, count the western lady out too. She wasn't quite the motherly tutor sort which one could just approach when they have a query. In fact, it took Sesshoumaru's mother almost five years before she finally called Jakan-sama by his name rather than 'little youkai' and her own as Rin rather than 'little human'. By then, she was already not that little. She had already stood to a height only slightly below her lord's shoulder. For some time, the girl even bore the suspicion that the western lady would change and address her as 'big human' but well, thank the kamis, one fine day, out of the blue, she was called upon as 'Rin'.

_Hmm…_ correcting herself internally, the girl recalled that she had once in a while, through overhearing gossips, gotten a hint of….well… mating. Passionate, heightening sensations like no other activities could match… a completion of some sort… which she was still confused about.

In her desperation one day, she had even resorted to turning to Jakan-sama. She remembered being harshly squawked at, chided at, that well-mannered girls should not be asking questions about what's in a man's pants. Still, he gave his two cents worth of teaching to the girl, a rather vivid and gory half an hour before she finally called the shots to end the lesson. Giving a lame excuse to sneak off, she had then quickly summarized and rearranged the important points for keeping… something about tearing all your clothes off, and being mounted, scratched and bitten and ridden like a horse…also there would inevitably be bleeding. And also, that a girl should always guard with utmost cares her body, her innocence, her virginity. Never should they spend a night with a male before they are officially mated to them for if that happens, they would be labeled as whores… loose women.

After all those efforts to seek an answer to that part of growing up she had yet to experience, she had somewhat concluded that… mating … ought to be something in between those two extreme versions.

As she continued circling and half inspecting the flower bed, she casually placed another petal in her mouth. _Hmm… sweet… Sesshoumaru-sama…_ his name rang like a bell in her head. Even when demons, in general, possessed finer and more perfect features, there was not one that she had come across that was more beautiful than her lord. And coupled with his cool suave facade, it was no wonder the females in the court bore secret admiration for him. If such intimacies existed between a male and female, she'd hoped too, that it was he she would engage such…acts… with.

Her tongue flicked as she winced at the change trigging her taste bud. _Sappy…Bitter…._

The girl concluded it was still wishful thinking on her part. Even when she had lived here in his demonic fortress, the difference between their races still existed. Just as Jakan-sama had mentioned so casually once during their night chats, it would take Sesshoumaru-sama many hundreds of years to build the empire he had aspired for. By then, she would be long gone and would never have the chance to bear witness to that glorious day. Perhaps when that time come, he would have also taken a mate, a tall beautiful demoness, one of similar breed… the great phantom dogs.

In any case, it would_…never_… be her.

At that thought, a wave of sadness cruised through her, hurt by that careless remark by the toad hundreds of times since it was first spoken. It was creating a strange soreness in her heart. A sigh escaped her pale pink lips, a hint of a teardrop glistening at the corner of her eye.

Perhaps, she should never pursue in that area of thought any longer, especially when, of late, Sesshoumaru-sama didn't seem to be like before. He was more distant and even more inscrutable than ever. Before, she had prided herself to be able to guess correctly what was on his mind. But during the recent months, he seemed to have hidden himself even deeper. He was thinking, struggling, perhaps troubled by something and she hadn't an idea what it could be. Sometimes, she even suspected that he was purposefully avoiding her, not wanting her to come close to his thoughts.

Behind a willow tree the demon lord stood hidden, watching. His target, now just a few feet away, circling the meadows, intermittently picking up a petal or two, tasting them as he had come to know she always would. And occasionally, she stops and sighs. What … _or who_…could be invading her thoughts this night, one that was contributing to that slight furrow in her brows, the soft resigned sigh upon her lips, one that made her look so ….troubled?

Another gust of breeze brought to his attention a slight salted scent.

Tears… Rin's tears… Why does she cry?

Sesshoumaru frowned. Though the girl had sometimes seemed troubled and had inevitably been upset before, still, he knew she wasn't one who easily shed tears. Now what could have affected her so much… or who?

Even when he had first decided to just be a silent watcher, something from within the demon lord urged him to go to her, to the one now sneezing and shivering from the cold.

"Rin…."

Though Sesshoumaru did not wish to startle the girl, he still did. He heard her let out a soft shriek followed by a pained gasp as she turned to face him.

"S-Sesshoumaru-sama…you scared me…" She shook her finger and examined the wound. The thorn of the midnight rose; she was accidentally stung by it in her fright.

"It was not this Sesshoumaru's intention to startle you." The demon lord moved to the girl's side, flung his cloak about her frame, then turning her around to face him. As he tied the knot to fasten the woolen strings, he took a glance at her wound, the one he had caused. " A-Are you… alright?"

Rin's heart skipped a beat at the sensation hitting at her as she felt his touch. At this moment, Sesshoumaru was standing so close to her that, as he spoke, she had felt his breath on her ear. She also noticed that he had purposely stood against the direction of the wind so as to protect her from it. "I'm alright, I…"

Before she could finish voicing her answer, the demon lord had already lifted her hand to his face, seeming to want to take a closer look at her finger for himself. She felt his clawed hand slid across her palm, opening up her fingers and singling out that one which was still stained with fresh blood.

That absolute calmness in his aura … she had always regarded it as his deadliest attraction. She blushed. "Sesshoumaru-sama… It's okay…really… I'm alright. I've gotten pricked before but I never…."

The rest of the sentence was lost, caught in her throat as she choked, finding all of a sudden, an extreme difficulty in breathing. Her heart was pounding out of control and a strange sort of shiver was spiraling up to her head, making her vision blurry.

And it HURT… a lot… her entire body seemed to have been swallowed by this huge wave of pain.

"Rin! What the…" The demon lord cushioned the girl before she collapse and hit the ground. His eyes focused on her wound, seemingly innocent looking a mere second ago but now, had turned to a dark purple patch which was slowly growing and manifesting to her entire hand.

Without hesitation, Sesshoumaru wrapped the girl tightly to him, turning into a great ball of light and heading back to the fortress. Constantly along the way, he did not cease to make intermittent checks on her condition.

_Strange…_As he embraced her closer thinking that it would make her better, on the contrary, it seemed to be making her feel worse. Rin was starting to convulse while her lips moved, uttering something he could not make out.

The poison from the midnight rose was acting up in her and Sesshoumaru knew… There was only one capable of possessing the antinode… the owner of the garden, his hahaue. He recalled being taught when he was a boy that such flowers originated from his mother's ancestral home and the antinode and its method of concoction was the family heirloom, held secret till this day.

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The screen door slid open with a thunderous slam and the lady of the west looked up rather dispassionately from her seated position at her dresser. Seeing that the night intruder was in fact her own son, her precious only son, she signaled away the maid in waiting with a lift of two elegant fingers. One brow twitched in amusement at the sight before her, she stood up and moved closer, her lips curved a slight grin.

"My my, what do we have here so late this night?" She stifled a chuckle as her vision fell on the girl now lying unconscious and propped up against the demon lord's chest. "Sesshoumaru, now what brought you here? Have you come to bid your beloved mother goodnight?"

The demon lord's eyes narrowed. His mother was trying to be difficult again, pretending to know nothing of what had happened when it was so damn obvious. "You know exactly why I'm here..." He extended his clawed hand. "The antinode, mother…"

This time, the lady giggled, her fan moving to cover her mouth. "Oh Sesshoumaru, indeed, you inherited neither your father's charms nor his patience. Can't you just humor your mother for once? Moreover, you should already know, once pricked by the thorn of the midnight rose, its takes many hours before the poison becomes deadly."

The demon lord tried his best to suppress the frustration building up in him. "Yes, but it is also to my knowledge that the pain also increases by the hour…"

The lady chuckled even louder, shaking her head. "Son, time and again, you seem to be easily angered when it comes to issues concerning this…" She looked down at Rin. "…human… It still puzzles me till this day." She circled the girl, lifting her chin up to examine her. Rin's face had begun to show hints of purplish blue, from the poison. "I can see that she has come of age to be affected by such poisons… interesting… did you… catch her moonlighting with her lover, Sesshoumaru?"

Sesshoumaru's knuckles cracked as his fist crushed into a tighten ball. "There was NO lover. It was an accident…" He needed to protect the girl from such that could easily become a malicious gossip.

The lady laughed, her pitch sharper, colder, more sarcastic. "Really? If she wasn't with her lover, then, the poison wouldn't have acted up, now would it?" She regarded the demon lord for a second and then smirked as she saw him stiffen. "I see…. The girl… was with you…"

"Stop stalling time and hand over the antinode, mother." Even when he had kept his voice composed, Rin was convulsing more and move vigorously in his arm and he knew, he wouldn't be able to hide his anxiety for long. Rin needed the medication… NOW.

"Oh come on, Sesshoumaru. Surely, there is no need to raise such aire over such trivial things." She took her time, strolled to her dresser and opened a wood carved drawer. He's so serious…. She sighed as she fished out a silk pouch, embroided richly with pictures of the midnight rose. Taking out a small pill from within and with a surge of her youki, the tiny tablet landed onto the demon lord's palm. "Give the girl… What's her name again… this. Keep her warm and she'll be fine in the morning."

Without a moment to loose, Sesshoumaru fed the pill to the girl, rubbing gently on her throat to help her swallow it. He picked her up again and headed toward the exit.

"Oh err… Sesshoumaru…"

He halted, his head turned only slightly as he heard a snigger.

"Next time son, when you wish to engage in such… activity…. Be careful of the location you choose…"

He rolled his eyes. He would have stayed to challenge her to a debate… but… Rin… she needed him more this night. He took one step and stopped again as he remembered something. "From now onward, the girl will no longer take care of your garden…."

As the lady of the western lands heard the door close behind her, she let off a sigh, her fingers toying with the silken pouch in her palm. "And he kept saying there's nothing between them…" She shook her head. "He's becoming more and more like his father in the strangest ways…"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Lifting up the blankets, the demon lord lay the girl's head down on her pillow with great care not to wake her. With one clawed finger, he flicked some of her loose hair away from her face as he inspected her condition worriedly under the dim candle light from the table lantern. She was less purple now, and she had stopped convulsing. Obviously, the antinode had worked. However, to Sesshoumaru's dismay, Rin did not look at all comfortable in her sleep. She was shivering badly, her hands and cheeks felt icy cold.

Knowing that she needed warmth, the demon lord shifted under the covers with her, securely holding her into his embrace. Seeing that she wasn't getting any better, he added an extra layer of quilt over them, then holding her hands into his and tugging her head under his chin.

After a while of cocooning himself together with Rin, Sesshoumaru was beginning to enjoy this quiet moment. He noticed too, that the girl had somewhat recovered. She had stopped shivering and had extended her arms around his frame hugging him as she settled down to deep slumber. Sesshoumaru prodded himself up with one elbow looking down at her. He couldn't stop thinking about his mother's words a while ago, no matter how sarcastic they were.

The poison from the thorns had acted up in Rin. Why?

He knew fully well there was no other person there …_He_ was the one with the girl. Could it be? Does Rin perhaps… have feelings for him? Well, he was aware that girl adored him…but.. that alone wouldn't trigger the poison… So…Rin's… in love with him?

This whole new deduction stirred once again the emotions and inner battle he had about the girl. Even if Rin really does love him, at this point of time, he wouldn't know what to do. But still, the idea of it… of being the one her heart and body yearns for… intrigued him to no end.

He looked down at her sleep soften features. Her lips were slowly returning back to their usual pink. Unable to resist, he let his finger trail the seams of her upper lip then the lower, smiling to himself as Rin moved and whimpered slightly at his touch.

Hmm… soft… as he always thought it'd be.

He moved closer, and closer, till his lips were less than an inch away from hers, taking a deep breath of her scent…. Sweet… He slid the back of his palm down her cheek, then caressed her hair gently as he reveled in the warm softness of her. His eyes and attention were locked onto how delicate and deliciously tempting her lips now seem to him.

If he'd kiss her now, she'd never know…

Then, reason and logic attacked him, making him close his eyes to draw himself off the alluring sight before him.

Should he… leave before a mistake is made?

He sighed… He wouldn't really know if it _were_ a mistake in the first place. Way before this night, he'd already had numerous musings of such possibilities of closeness with the girl some day. But coming face to face with it… with Rin at such near proximity… the thought of taking her… crossing that ultimate line of defence…and possessing her in entirety… It mat as well turn out to be a temptation he could not resist.

Before Sesshoumaru could make a decision, he gasped at the sudden sensation he felt. Rin… a slight movement from her had closed the distance between their lips. And this time, after having offered a hint of what she tastes like, the demon lord found that he could no longer care about consequences.

He bent down, planted a soft kiss on her lips, lingered for a moment there brushing his lips with hers. He let his eyes close at the sensation, the taste of her once again…

_Nice…_

He moved his lips over hers again, slowly learning more about her than ever. He gasped, shocked that Rin opened her eyes and was now staring into his own amber ones. He paused as their gazes were fixed upon each other for a short moment.

She looked bleary at first, needing time to orientate herself. He continued to watch her, knowing that she was slowly coming to realize what had happened to her earlier on and where she was at the moment.

"Sesshoumaru-sama… you brought me back here?" She whispered, her tone still drowsy.

The demon nodded.

"And the poison?" She was remembering more as time passed.

"You've taken the antinode…"

She swallowed softly as she wriggled in his arms… in her bed. "Why are we…"

"You were cold…" His voice was reflecting their usual calmness.

"Oh…." She trailed her own lips with her fingers, her teeth worrying her lower lip and the demon lord felt instantly her pulse quickened. "You… kissed me…."

Sesshoumaru's own heart stopped for a second, either with slight embarrassment or guilt he wouldn't know. Still, he was no coward to come clean what he had done. "Yes… I did…" He waited rather anxiously for her reaction to his admission.

Rin blushed… she knew she did because of the heat she felt upon her cheeks to her ears. He watched her as she smiled to herself in glee. Her innocence was a pure seduction of its own like no other. He heard her take a deep breath… either to calm herself or to self inject a boost of confidence… he guessed… and he was right.

The girl shyly leaned forward, pressing her lips ever so slightly to his in a pure kiss and then, pulling back to gage his reaction to her boldness.

The demon lord smiled. This was a new game… a more thrilling one than he had ever experienced. He knew it was the girl's first kiss he had taken. She just didn't know… it was also the first he had given… to anyone…

Firmly, he reached down, planting a surer kiss, taking his time and waiting… waiting for her to pick up his pace… and pick up she did… letting herself be led by him. Pleased that she had reacted positively, he flicked his tongue parting her lips, gaining access to her sweetness within.

Nervously, she opened up to him, letting him take control as their kisses deepen one after another pleasurable one, their tongues now dancing with each other in deadly seduction.

At first, all the demon lord wanted was a small kiss…but as the game continued, the heightening pleasures… the scent of her arousal…was clouding his senses, crushing the pillar of reason that had guided him for ages.

The thoughts washing him over and over, the inner debate now… was how far to go with her…

_Just a little more_…. He decided_… A little more wouldn't hurt…_ they were still quite far away from going all the way…

He let his hand freely followed down the edges of the robe she was wearing, until he cupped her breast gently. He moved over the slight bulge, testing fully the feel of it in his palm as he heard her make small muted noises.

_So soft… young… budding_… He was once again reminded of her age. Yes… it would certainly take a few more years before these breasts are fully formed.

Rin's vision was fully on the one now humped over her, his molten golden ambers burning into her own darken hazels. She tried hard to stem off the increasing nervousness she was feeling… this was after all… her first time with a man… with her Sesshoumaru.

She couldn't help moaning as she felt his hand sliding to every possible place he could reach of her body… his hand… felt like a branding iron… igniting her till she thought she was going to be set ablaze.

With both hands shaking, she bravely caressed his magenta stripped cheek, bringing him down to kiss him harder, deeper.

"Rin…." Her name was lost as their kisses became more furious, frenzied, their bodies tightly knitted together, rocking and moving as one.

The demon lord was so lost by now, in the smell of her, the touch of her and the taste of her … he let his hand rest for a moment at the edge of her gown, then sliding into them, feeling the silk of her skin till he met her breasts again. He held it, kneaded it, letting the rough patch on his thumb rub against her nipples till they stood harden.

They felt so damn good in his hands… _She _felt so good…

He growled, parting her kimono and moved down to suckle one, nipping it and pulling gently while letting one hand attack the other. He knew Rin was enjoying this… He heard her little whimpers even when she tried to stifle them.

_More…more…._he chanted in his mind like a sutra, spurring him on.

He parted her legs, positioning himself between her thighs as he continued kissing her, touching her, tasting her. Then, breaking off and lifting himself up slightly, he watched her as she panted, like a predator at its prey, her soft breath on his… and she was looking up at him and he could see everything … her fears… her eagerness… her shyness…

Innocent… pure… virgin….

The girl had never had a man. He would be her first. And if he'd make love her this night, _she…_ would have also been _his_ first.

Rin saw the eyes of her lord darken as he let his fingers reached down to the ties of his hakama, pulling it loose and then sliding the fabric off. She felt instantly …him… his male appendage, thick, long, hard, moving from the centre of her belly to her entrance.

_So close…. So close…._

He tilted her pelvis, settling more firmly in position as he dragged his tip to push at her entrance… He let his eyes drift shut as he experimentally pushed, rocking into her.

_Tight…. Incredibly tight… _

Fixing his gaze on her again, he couldn't help but see the pain Rin was feeling right now. She had stiffened up, biting her lips. Hints of tears were shimmering at her eyes though she didn't make a sound.

_She wanted this… wanted him…_

He pushed deeper, this time seeing her tears flow steadily down her cheeks. Then, he met her barrier where she was tighter than ever.

_No… too young…. He was tearing her apart with his size… She was too young to fit a man…_

Biting his teeth at probably the most painful decision he'd ever made, he pulled himself out of her, then touching her cheeks to calm her down. "Shh… This Sesshoumaru is sorry for going too far… for hurting you…"

The girl's eyes opened and she shook her head. Yes… it had hurt terribly… but she wanted… she wanted him to take her… to make love to her… to teach her… "But Sesshoumaru…"

He silenced her next word with a finger on her lips, then bent down, sealing another kiss on her lips, then flashed her a smile. "No… shh…Relax…Rin… relax…"

Then he began… rubbing himself against the jewel, letting his thick girth glide wetly between her folds, thrusting in increasing speed. He closed his eyes biting his lip and losing himself in every bit of this delicious pleasure.

They were making love… Rin and him… There was no penetration, no sex… just … making love…

As he moved, he felt her too… gaining momentum and joining him in his rhythm. He reached forward to kiss the sensitive skin at her throat, feeling her jump as he did... He grinned.

_He had found her sweet spot…_

He suckled her more and more at her throat, his fingers tickling her at the back of her neck as he thrust faster and faster. An overwhelming intensity was building up in him… He felt the same in her too…Her breathing had quickened as she writhed and moaned…He had not experienced it before… but he knew what it was… He was reaching… coming…. she too…

As he heard her call out his name, and she was convulsing underneath him, he felt his own release, his essence now spread across her smooth belly. He rolled over, bringing her with him into his arms and settled comfortably in the sheets again.

He let his eyes close again, his breath still catching up as he panted. Surely, this… mating game…. was more exhausting than getting into the most heated battle.

A smile made its way up his curved lips.

What more… if he had really penetrated her… He couldn't help but to imagine as he heard the one in his arms whisper the words that sent a sweet but frightening tinkle down his spine…

"I love you… Sesshoumaru-sama…."

Her words… so innocently spoken… yet bringing them, their relationship across an important milestone… to a whole new realm… love…

_Is he in love? Are they in love?_

He wouldn't know and couldn't find out… at least not now, not this moment in which he merely wished to join her in sleep.

Enough …_excitement…_ for one night.

He held her tightly, her sweet scent hinting what they had done just a while ago lingered about her about them… enough to bring the demon lord to deep satisfied slumber.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

End of chapter 2

R & R if you have the time… Let me know what you think of the story so far..

evilbunny


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3: Developing hearts

A warm breeze followed by soft shuffling of the bamboo blinds roused the girl from her slumber. All bleary and drowsy, Rin shielded her eyes from the glare of strong sunlight indicating to her that it was probably nearly noon. She blinked a few times, orientating herself. Nothing special. She was in her own room.

_But… Sesshoumaru-sama…._

Her hands felt the sheets around her. There was no one there. She propped herself up with one elbow examining her surroundings. The room was warming up as the noon rays reflected brightly against the walls to her bed, a gentle continuous breeze playing a soothing duet with the wind chime by her window. Her hazels fell on the covers beside her. It was unusually ruffled. Rin closed her eyes as she allowed herself to fall back on her soft pillows.

_Last night… The midnight rose…. Sesshoumaru-sama… The lady… and then…_

Every part of the memories from last night's incident was now only a blur. She was sure of being pricked by the thorn of the rose, the wound on her finger had only just begun to close. And Sesshoumaru-sama… he had appeared out of nowhere and the moment she saw him, a strange emotion started to stir within her. It was tingling and sweet, like the way she always felt whenever he had come near. The wind that sent his knee long silvery hair swaying also brought to her his scent. How would she describe how her lord smells like? A gust of wind from the forest, damp soil after a summer drizzle, the morning dew on cypress… in a simple word… elemental.

Rin's eyes flew open as she sniffed at her sheets. She was sure. Sesshoumaru-sama's scent was all over her bed. So last night… he did bring her back to her room. He did stay the night with her and they….

She blushed as she circled her arms round her own frame, briefly checking herself. Her night dress was intact, the ties were tightly knotted. Self-consciously, she touched her own lips. Did he really kiss her? Were they really….. or was it just a dream?

As she traced back to the occurrences the night before, she managed to confirm certain facts. Sesshoumaru could have sent her back to her bed. It was most logical. He had always been her savior since the first day she met him. And he might have stayed to make sure she had fully recovered. Her lord had always been thorough. That was his style. He would only take leave if he was sure she recovered completely.

As to all that intimacy that followed between them… could it be just a fragment of her own imagination, a hallucination following the effects of the poison from the rose… even when everything felt so real, his kisses, his touch?

Rin heaved a sigh. She knew… she could never be sure unless… she asks him…

Almost instantly, the girl shook her head violently to erase out that thought. No way…she wasn't about to ask him about it either.

She will absolutely NOT!

That would be… too embarrassing… degrading… most unladylike…

And moreover, he wasn't even around for her to implore. The girl couldn't help but sense her own disappointment. If they had really become more intimate, why hadn't he stayed till morning to assure her? Why did he choose to leave as if nothing had happened? Or is that how he truly felt, that he wished it hadn't happened? Did it really happen?

Rin shook her head again. Going round and round at it wasn't doing anything to calm her confusion. Neither did it help her to reach a conclusion. She was even beginning to feel a huge migraine emerging.

And if she meets him later in the day, how is she going to act? Like it did happen? Or like it didn't? She knew it wouldn't be easy to tell the answer from her lord's expressions either. Yeah… What expressions? We're talking about Sesshoumaru-sama here…

Rin rolled agitatedly in her sheets, trying to find a little comfort from its silky softness. She rubbed her face into her pillows, punching it with her fist. Part of her really wanted to know… She had secretly yearned for such a possibility for so long even though she knew it was more than impossible. A demon and a human… what more… Sesshoumaru…

That thought brought her back to the prick on her finger. For the first time like she had never felt before, the poison from the rose had affected her… badly. And she was more than certain it happened the moment she felt Sesshoumaru's closeness to her, his shallow breathing was the last thing she remembered on her cheeks before the pain attacked her. After that, everything went into a frenzy. On top of all her discomfort, she could remember that the more she thought of him, felt him holding her, the more it had hurt. Indeed, it was the terrible way to find out how she felt for her lord.

_I…do love him…_

Rin finally admitted that to herself, not that she didn't already know. She just wasn't prepared to face the consequence. The pure result of knowing, of consciously knowing that she loved him, it would be painful… even without the poison from the midnight rose.

Sesshoumaru wouldn't love her… He wouldn't…

The girl recalled all her past experiences where enemies had threatened to use her as hostage against her lord. Every time without fail, Sesshoumaru would say the same, "If you think a simple human girl like that can be used to threaten this Sesshoumaru, you must be mad." Each time without fail, he'd say that but each time too without fail, he'd save her. Rin had full confidence that he would. She had never doubted him.

But those words…. It hadn't mattered when she was a child. She had been a cheery positive kid. She still is…. just that…such unfeeling statements were beginning to hurt her in a way she couldn't stop. Her heart would ache each time she heard it, though she'd always pretended to be all smiley. And sometimes when it really hurt her a lot, she'd only dare to let herself cry about it in the dead of the night, in her bed under the covers… muted, hushed… always remembering to wash herself thoroughly after that. She was living amongst demons with the most acute senses. A brief sniff of her tears by the chamber maids and Sesshoumaru would be informed and he would implore her about it the very next day.

_So… He cared enough to ask_… She'd always consoled herself with that. But the truth was, it had hurt her still, and more so if she loved him.

And she did love him, no longer that of pure admiration and idolization. It was now more… she was beginning to love him like a woman would love a man.

And last night….

Rin sighed, long and deep. She was determined to shove all internal debates of what happened between Sesshoumaru and her aside. Flipping the covers, she hopped out of bed as the door opened.

"Rin-chan, ohayo…"

"Ohayo, Rika…" The girl flashed a smile at the demoness now placing a tray of food on her table. As the years passed, Rika had become more of a close friend rather than a chamber maid. In the most practiced manner, Rin ran her fingers through her hair then took half of it, fix it up into a crooked bun. She strolled to the tray, picking a fresh flower from the ornamental vase, pinning it to her hair. "What's for breakfast?"

The fox demoness chuckled as she helped the girl adjust the cream colored lily to the best angle. "Rin-chan, it's more like lunch."

"I know, I've overslept." Something dawned on the girl. "Oh no! I haven't watered the plants in the garden!" She dashed toward her wardrobe, skimming through her yukatas and quickly pulled out a white number with prints of summer blossoms.

"Rin!" The demoness stopped her immediately. "Don't you already know?"

"Know what?" The girl carried on dressing herself.

"Sesshoumaru-sama has given orders for you not to tend to the lady's garden anymore." Rika whispered. "And I heard the lady wasn't pleased at all with that. Now, Chiyo is put in charged of the garden." She held out the girl's hand singling that injured finger. "And I have a hunch it has got something to do with this."

Rin withdrew her finger instantly. "It's just a prick, nothing serious."

Roka laughed. "Nothing serious? I heard you almost died!"

"That… is highly exaggerated."

"Really? Weren't you with your…" She winked. "…lover?"

Rin choked on her miso soup, coughing out loudly. _Gossips already?_ "I wasn't with my lover!!! I was with…" She stopped, feeling extremely self conscious.

The demoness shook her head. "You were with Sesshoumaru-sama, weren't you?"

"Precisely!" The girl tried to sound bold and composed. "It was Sesshoumaru-sama, not a lover."

"Ah ha! Precisely! If our Rin-chan has a lover, it would most likely be…."

"Stop it!!!!" Rin dashed forward to stop the last word, that most familiar name. Truly, Rika would have known the secrets of her heart more than anyone else in this western court.

"Ses… shou….." The demoness giggled as she dodged, heading for the door. Surely, a human can't be faster than a demon.

"Don't say it!" Greatly embarrassed, the girl persisted in the chase as they detoured from the door to her bed. She jumped on the demoness and soon, the two were laughing and rolling around in the sheets.

"Rin…" Rika shook loose of the girl, hugging one pillow and suddenly turning more serious. "You know… you're different today. I can't put a finger to it but… you smell different."

"I smell different?" The girl took a few sniffs of herself. Maybe she needed a bath.

"No… I mean… It's like… you've been done…" She narrowed her eyes at the girl suspiciously. "What did you do last night with you-know-who?"

"W-Who?" The redness emerging from her cheeks was giving her away and Rin was trying her best to fan it down. Moreover, she still wasn't sure if it really happened.

"You know…"

"I don't."

"Yes, you do…"

"I don't."

"You still have his scent on you…."

"I do?" Rin's eyes flew open. _No way! Sesshoumaru's scent is on me? So, did we really…_ "Rika, don't bluff… I don't know who you're talking about."

"Really?" The demoness could tell a lie from the girl any day. Rin's a pitiful liar. "Then, I guess it's alright for me to shout out his name then."

"NOOOOOooooo!"

The chase began again as the girls jumped out of bed and after a few rounds in the room, Rika was heading towards the exit. "Ses…shou…." She stopped short at the door when it swung open, a tall white figure standing regally before her. "…maru-sama…" She gulped as she finished that last bit in a whisper, adjusting to tidy herself, then bowed respectfully. "M-My lord."

Rin herself bumped into the demoness as she panted, equally caught by surprised. "Sesshoumaru-sama…" And she realized. He wasn't looking particularly pleased.

"Did I not instruct you that the girl has to stay in bed?" His ire was not directed at her, Rin noted. The one who was bearing the consequence of their little mischief was her friend. Rika fell to her knees in great fear as she trembled. "Yes My lord. I had overlooked that. Please… forgive me."

"It wasn't Rika's fault… I…" She wasn't given the chance to finish that. Before she knew it, she was lifted up, swept by one powerful muscled arm till her head lay against his chest. He did not speak a word as he headed for her bed and she dared not continue with hers.

Carefully, the demon lord placed the girl in his arm back into her bed, then replacing the covers on her. He did not look her in the eye, just coolly signaling Rika to bring forward the food tray. He also asked for the medicine box before sending the terrified maid off.

Quietly, Rin watched as Sesshoumaru tended to her wound, spreading a thin layer of ointment on it then bandaging it up. He did not look straight at her still, just intoning rather plainly. "You should be in bed. After taking the antinode, it is wise not to get up and over exert yourself. My mother once told me that the antinode itself is a deadly poison. When taking it, you're in actual fact, fighting poison with poison. It takes only a little off the right amount to kill you instantly."

The girl gulped. "Is that why you're not allowing me to take care of the garden anymore?"

"A human cannot take the antinode more than three times, a demon ten. If you do, even if the poison of the rose did not kill you, its antinode will. It is not something to be fooling around with, Rin."

It was a good piece of advice but the girl couldn't help but feel a little dishearten. Sesshoumaru's tone was so stern, chiding her as if she was still a little girl, like he'd always been. That made her even more confused. If their relationship had advanced since last night, he should be… well… at least a bit nicer.

She hated it every time her lord used that sort of tone on her. She knew she was like his ward and he, her guardian. But still, she was no longer a child.

_I'd be sixteen in two months, _she mused sadly. _Will he ever see me as a lady rather than a kid? Will he ever hold me, touch me, kiss me like a man would to a woman? Or did he already…last night?_

Rin didn't know she was sighing and grunting to herself rather obviously but the demon lord himself did not miss it. Neither was it that he didn't know what was bothering her. It was just that.. he was still trying to come to terms with what he did the night before.

Everything happened so quickly. Before he had control of it, he had gone too far. Well, not far enough to have taken her but still, he had gone beyond what he should, as an honorable male, as a respectable lord …and as her guardian.

He couldn't deny feeling strangely elated though, but he was trying extremely hard to throw that thought off his mind. Especially when looking at Rin now in her bed like where she had been when he had kissed her, his control was put to the ultimate test. She looked… simply… enticing…for a girl not even sixteen. He sneaked a peek of her from head to toe, the memories coming in like waves… how she'd smelt, how her skin had felt, how her lips had tasted…. He probably had imagined it a hundred times before but after last night, the demon lord was mesmerized, though he tried hard to conceal it.

He was… in love?

And how long had he been loving her, he wouldn't know. Perhaps… longer than he dare think…. Perhaps sooner than he should have, considering her tender age.

However, this was a relationship he needed to put more thoughts on, with his mind rather than his heart. It would be unfair for Rin… but it was necessary. They weren't living in the world just on their own. There was still the court, his empire, his legions, his allies, his mother…

"Does it still hurt?" He gently caressed the girl's finger. His tone was calm but he was in fact, desperately trying to console her. He knew she was upset he hadn't stayed with her till morning but he couldn't. Before he found that best way to present this relationship to his court, he couldn't risk having a vicious gossip ruin it.

And it worked. Rin looked up, touched by this gesture of concern. "I-It's alright now. It doesn't hurt anymore."

The demon lord nodded.

"Erm… Sesshoumaru-sama?"

"What is it?"

"The lady… Will she be displeased if I don't attend to her garden any longer?"

"Were she particularly pleased when you did?" The demon lord's lids were half shut, almost seeming that he had flashed a grin, unusual, but whenever it concerned his mother, somehow, he would have a sudden flare of cold humor.

"You've got a point there." The girl stifled a giggle

"Now eat. You have already missed breakfast. You need to be nourished." As she was served personally by her lord, watching as he placed the tray before her and pouring her tea, Rin couldn't help but smile. It was always moments like this that she couldn't miss the fact that he possibly cared … or even more… bear some special feelings for her.

"Will you join me, Sesshoumaru-sama?" She was about to pour him some tea when she felt his hand holding hers, stopping her actions. She gasped at the contact.

"Sesshoumaru." He said rather coolly after a slight sigh.

"What?" The girl was baffled.

"Just Sesshoumaru, especially when there's only us."

Rin trembled with joy. He was asking her to lose the formality. He… He was treating her as his equal? Was it because of what happened last night? So, it DID happen! She took a deep calming breath. "Sesshoumaru…"

She stopped when his finger touched her lips to silence her and she let her eyes close as she felt his hand running across her cheek. The demon lord fretted when he took note of the fine purple undertone on the girl's cheeks. The poisons in her body still needed time to resolve completely even when she didn't feel the effects of the rose anymore.

Rin waited in anticipation. _Is he going to kiss me again?_

"Rin…"

The girl opened her eyes, half surprised and half in disappointment. She noted Sesshoumaru's stern look.

"Eat. I will not be joining you. There are matters I have to attend to." Even when he spoke, he tried to gage her reactions.

_Matters to attend to?_ The girl thought to herself in dismay. Sesshoumaru had always been like this. Just when they were about to start a nice conversation or when they were about to have some quiet time together, he would take leave. It was almost like… he was afraid to be close… to her… to anyone. At least, that was how he made her feel.

"My mother is expecting… erm… guests tonight." The demon lord stopped at the door, attempting to explain himself, though he did not wish to elaborate, the main reason being that the so-called guests would no doubt bring her stress. "Rest well after you finish your food. I-I …. I will be coming by later to check on you."

_Check on me?_ Rin pouted. She wished he had used something… well… gentler, perhaps… the word 'visit' would be more appropriate for a lady.

"Rin…"

The girl looked up out of courtesy rather than she really wished to. However, when she did, she was pleasantly surprised. Sesshoumaru had strolled back to her side, gently placing a kiss on her forehead. She gasped at the contact. "Sesshoumaru…." She lifted her chin higher in anticipation till her lips were only an inch away from his.

She was so very close and he'd only need to reach forward to bestow upon her a kiss that would inevitably bring them back to the passion they felt the night before. He was tempted… but something inside him prevented him from actualizing that thought.

"I need to go." He tickled her slightly on her cheek coupled with a somewhat forced smile.

And he left.

As Rin watched the screen door flung shut, she let off a sigh. She didn't get the kiss she'd hoped for. He didn't give it.

_Well, he did give kiss me…_She argued in his defense.

But that wasn't how she'd hoped it to be. She picked up the pair of chopsticks and started on her lunch, though she wasn't at all paying much attention to what she was chewing on. Sesshoumaru had insisted she finish eating. He'd make sure, by probably enquiring the maids. Their relationship was at its budding stage and the last thing she'd wish was for him to think she's still behaving like a kid.

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At his private study, the demon lord lay back against the wall behind him, taking a break from the task at his hand. His cousin, the lady Suki would arrive this evening together with her friend, the lord Kohan of the northern mountains. He'd always welcome Suki whenever she wished to pay them a visit; He'd always treated her like a little sister. She'd always been that sibling he'd hoped to have, well, rather than Inuyasha.

Lord Kohan, on the other hand, was a totally different issue. It wasn't that he had anything against the demon; It was more for…. Rin.

From the very first time she'd met him, the girl was uncomfortable. In fact, the demon lord would guess that she was frightened of him…. for obvious reasons. The fellow was a wolf descent, a distant relative of Koga and a much more powerful one. She had only met the wolf demon on two occasions, both when she was still a child and both times, she was hiding behind him, her hands wrapped tightly round his leg. Even after the wolf had left, Rin had suffered two whole weeks of constant nightmares. She would wake up screaming many times within one night and could only be comforted in his embrace.

That was precisely why he didn't wish to let the girl know of the visit as yet. She was still recovering and this piece of unfortunate information would not do anything to help her or to calm her nerves. He also knew that his mother would be throwing them a welcome feast this night. He'd hoped that Rin wouldn't have to attend… perhaps, he'd used her condition as an excuse.

He had enquired about Rin from Rika during a break time and got to know that she ate little.

_That would have been the side effects of the antinode,_ he concluded.

And if the girl come to know of Kohan's visit, that would spoil her appetite for the next ten days no doubt. Perhaps, he should pay her a visit, like he'd promised earlier in at noon. He had thought of her the entire day even though he had been busy…. as well as the possibility of continuing with that kiss he had withdrawn.

Yes, he should check on her condition, and perhaps, stay a little while to chat with her, that is, if she was not resting.

Sesshoumaru's lips curved a subtle smile. Knowing Rin, it'd be a chore to stay in bed the entire day, even by his strict orders. She'd have been bored stiff by now. He could only imagine how delighted she'd be if he dropped by.

With that, he made a decision. He got up, flicking loose strains of his hair aside and a knock on the door was heard.

"What is it?"

"My lord, your cousin and the lord Kohan has arrived. The lady wishes you to join her in welcoming them."

Sesshoumaru sighed with immense disappointment.

Rin… would have to wait.

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"Rin-chan…" A slight knock on the door was heard and the demoness popped her head in for a peak as she whispered. "Are you… asleep?"

"I wish." The girl propped her head with one elbow, turning toward the direction of the doorway. "I've already slept fourteen hours. I think I'm feeling a headache coming up from over resting… can't believe that can actually happen."

Rika laughed. "We fox demons hibernate during some winters. Sleeping is a skill, my dear…."

"…which I'm not very interested to pursue. Life's too beautiful to be wasted like that." Rin rebutted with a chuckle.

The demoness noticed the girl trying to squint her eyes to see behind her. She laughed again, knowing exactly what Rin was looking for. "He's not here."

"Who?"

"You know who. He'd been busy the entire day, even now."

"Oh." Rin let out a sigh, mumbling to herself. "He promised he'd come by…"

"Rin…" The fox demoness frowned at the message she was instructed to relay. "Erm…You're expected to attend the dinner tonight, by orders of the lady."

The girl's eyes lit up with glee. "Really? Does this mean I can be out of my room? Does Sesshoumaru… erm… I mean Sesshoumaru-sama knows about it?" Obviously, she did not know better.

But the demoness knew. She had been with Rin long enough to learn about her history, how she had died in the hands of wolves and was revived by Tenseiga, how she dreaded the visits of the wolf demon. "Rin, Sesshoumaru-sama had objected to you attending the dinner."

"He did?"

"He had your interest in mind."

"But I've rested enough. I feel perfectly fine."

"Lord Kohan and Lady Suki will be at dinner tonight. They're expected to stay for the next two weeks or so, apparently to discuss about the alliance between the north and the west." The demoness had not even finished and she already noted that Rin was stiffened up, her cheeks turning suddenly pale.

"L-Lord K-Kohan you said?" The girl hugged her pillow, her fingers squeezed tightly onto the soft fabric.

"Now you know. Sesshoumaru-sama only wished to protect you. He almost got into an argument with the lady over this."

Rin convulsed. Whenever that creepy name was mentioned, she would not be able to control the shivers that run down her spine. She closed her eyes, pondering and half trying to calm herself down.

"So, Rin-chan, are you going to the dinner?" Seeing that the girl did not answer immediately, Rika gave her honest opinion. "You know, if Sesshoumaru-sama had fought for you already, perhaps, you should listen to him. The lady couldn't be too mad. It's Sesshoumaru-sama's orders anyways."

True enough. Rin also agreed internally. But the last thing she wished was to cause unhappiness between the lady and her lord. She was after all…his hahaue. Moreover, she's all grown up now. She should learn to face her fears.

"I'm going." She got out of bed and started looking through her wardrobe for something appropriate for a formal occasion.

Rika's brows rose with astonishment, though she could understand fully the reasons why. Rin was considering for Sesshoumaru, just as he had done the same for her. The demoness stifled a smile. If she'd dare to make a bet, she'd say that she was now waiting on the next lady of the west. She walked up to the girl, her fingers reached into the cupboard to pull out a dark blue kimono and white cherry blossoms prints.

"This one suits you perfectly."

Rin smiled. That was a present from Sesshoumaru last winter. He had it tailored for her and she hadn't a chance to wear it as yet. "That would be perfect."

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Sesshoumaru's nose wriggled at a scent so familiar to him. Even above all the smells of the food, wine and the assortments of demons in the dining hall, he could pick that particular one out without a doubt. It was such a subtle sweetness, the one whom the scent belonged to was coming near. He put down his cup and stood up, heading swiftly to the door and out. At the corner of her eyes, the lady took in everything as she continued chatting with her favorite niece.

Suki… was everything she wanted in a daughter-in-law, that was, if she had a say in it. Her prince, her only son had not shown interest in her even when they had known and played with each other since they were young. She had brought the idea of an arranged marriage to her late husband many times but the late Taisho seemed to have other plans for their son. At some point in time, the Taisho had started to dispute the idea that the bloodline of the phantom dog Taiyoukais had to remain pure.

_All because of that… human woman…. Izayoi…._ The lady smirked. She wasn't particularly jealous that her husband was shared. It was not uncommon that warlords acquire concubines or have a fling once in a while. But she'd prefer a demoness instead of a human … plus… she'd really preferred if he hadn't conceived a son with her.

Still, what's done cannot be undone.

But in Sesshoumaru's case, could she do something about it, especially when her son's only focus had been on that little human girl. Or… should she obey her husband's instructions just before his death?

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The girl was about to reach the entry of the dining hall when a white figure emerged from inside. Her eyes beamed with joy at the sight of her lord but she noted too, he wasn't that pleased to see her.

"Rin, what are you doing here?" He reached her side, pulling her to one corner of the walkway till her back was against a wall. "I thought I gave you instructions to stay in your room."

"Sesshoumaru-sa… I mean.. Sesshoumaru…" She smiled up at his worried face. "I know… about Lord Kohan. I'll be alright, really. Don't worry."

"If you know my intentions are to protect you, then, you should have obeyed them." He chided sternly though he also noted that Rin had seemed better. Her cheeks had returned to her usually youthful pink glow.

"The lady wouldn't be pleased if I missed the dinner." Rin tried to explain.

"This Sesshoumaru does not care."

"I can't avoid him forever. He's going to be here for two weeks."

That statement struck a chord in the demon lord. If Lord Kohan was here only for a casual visit, he'd have contemplated to take the girl away to his summer fortress. But he couldn't. It was not a social visit. The northern empires had wishes to make allies with the west and Kohan was sent as the representative. "This Sesshoumaru wishes there was a way…" He sighed.

Touched by his concern, Rin let her hand stroke on his magenta stripped cheek gently. "I know you care about me…"

"Then do as I say…. At least for now…" He pressed up on her till his hair hid them from unwanted attention. Then, he lurched forward and their lips met.

Rin gasped, half trying to recover from the shock and half still tingling in the sensation that one short kiss had brought. She looked up, feeling his clawed fingers run down her hair, bringing the thick wavy locks to the back.

"Go back to your room, at least for tonight." His expressions were so sincere, so soft. "Let me deal with hahaue."

Rin knew she couldn't reject him. She didn't wish to either, since Sesshoumaru was so insistent. Moreover, he had kissed her. She nodded obediently, smiling.

Sesshoumaru returned that show of obedience with a slight uplift of the corner of his lips. His expressions darkened almost instantly after, his amber eyes showed a flash of red. He had picked up something… someone he was too late to avoid.

"Sesshoumaru…"

Rin shrieked as she caught sight of who the voice belonged to.

It was Kohan.

Instantly, Sesshoumaru released the girl, standing in front of her purposefully. "Kohan…"

"Am I interrupting something?" The wolf demon's eyes traveled between the two in front of him, then back to the girl he could hardly see now that she was somewhat hidden from his sight. "Who might this lovely little lady be?"

Sesshoumaru was fretfully silent and Rin knew it was time she plucked up her courage. She came round and bowed respectfully. "We've met before but perhaps you do not remember. I am Rin."

"Rin?" The image of a child appeared to remind the wolf demon her identity. He laughed heartily. "Yes, the little human. You were so small when I last saw you." He made an eye at the demon lord. "Sesshoumaru, these ningens…. They grow so fast."

"We should be returning to dinner." Sesshoumaru turned to the girl, taking her hand to pull her along her way. "Go back to your room. That's an order." His tone had sounded harsh but this time, there was no misunderstanding. Rin knew he had done that on purpose, only because Kohan was there. Hidden from public eyes, his fingers were gently stroking, comforting hers even when he spoke.

Rin bowed again before she hurried away.

"But Sesshoumaru, wouldn't it be nice that little Rin joins us?" Kohan was following the back of the girl with much interest…. too much interest.

"She is unwell." His tone was plain.

"I see." His voice hinted that he was somewhat disappointed. "I guess we'll meet later in the week then…. Rin eh?" He turned to the demon lord. "She's growing to be the prettiest little thing."

Sesshoumaru's brows flare at the simple comment. There was something in that complement that made him strangely irritated. He would have to think of a way to make Kohan's visit shorter.

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The night had seemed really long for the girl once she had returned to the comforts of her own bedroom. Comforts? Well, not quite. She had tried her best to display her bravest self but deep inside, she could not stop herself from being haunted by her past encounter with these vicious wolves. She had suffered under their ruthless attacks, watching as they sank their sharp fangs into her flesh. She recalled being flung from one animal to the next, each having a bit of her. She felt the excruciating pain from her neck and her abdomen. She saw her own blood scattered everywhere. Soon, the pain had made her more numb, her visions got blurrier, her consciousness fleeting. At that moment, she knew, even as a child, she knew she was going to die.

And she did.

But somewhere between life and death, she was being called back. She had felt a touch of a hand, lifting her soul from the realms of hell, away from the huge piles of bones and remains.

She was revived!

And the first person she saw the moment she opened her eyes… was not a person. It was pair of warm amber eyes, a warm arm supporting her. At that moment, she knew, that was her savoir. HE… was her savior.

If she had a choice, she wouldn't want to have any form of contact with those creatures. Even when she had been revived by the Tenseiga, her scars had remained, most obviously at her neck and at her abdomen. But the real scars that ran deepest was still in her mind.

Rin screamed as she awoke from yet another of those nightmares, one that reminded her death. She panted, catching her breath and wiped her forehead of the beads of perspiration with her trembling fingers.

_Sesshoumaru… where are you? _

She had expected him to visit after the dinner but he was nowhere to be seen. The moon was up, showing how night it might have been already. Perhaps, he had long gotten into bed to rest, forgetting about her completely. Rin dried her tears, which had built themselves up as she thought about him. Oh how she wished he was by her side. She would just toss herself into his embrace and cry her heart out …if he were here.

_What was that?_

Rin jumped as she heard a sort of screeching sound echoing through the hallway outside her room. She gulped. It sounded like claws on the wooden flooring.

She shook her head wildly. No. she was imaging it all. She would do that sometimes, in the dead of the night, especially after a nightmare of wolves. Being all alone on her bed wasn't helping it either. Perhaps, she would be safer elsewhere….

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The wooden screen of the girl's room parted lightly, a white shadow appearing at the entryway. The demon lord stepped in, knowing instantly that the girl wasn't at her bed even without looking that direction.

He closed his eyes, his nose catching her scent in the room. Rin is here.

With a soft sigh, he paced toward her wardrobe, stopping outside for a short moment. Rin, she was still affected by Kohan's visit, just as he'd expected. Since she was a child, every time the wolf demon visited, she'd hide herself in her wardrobe at night. She'd have continuous nightmares, sometimes lasting long after Kohan had left. Every of those times, she would not be consoled by anything else by him. Only when he'd stayed with her in bed, only in his arms she'd get some real rest.

With careful fingers, Sesshoumaru moved the cupboard door open, revealing the girl at one corner, all scrunched up as she circled her arms tightly around her knees in her sleep. She wasn't awake but the demon lord could tell… she wasn't in peaceful slumber as well.

As gently as he could, the demon lord moved her hands away, letting her fall into his arms. He lifted her as he got up, heading straight for the bed. Flipping the covers, he placed the girl in it, then getting in himself to lay beside her, pulling her closely to him. He could have come earlier… He should have… but after dinner, Kohan had suggested they start with the discussions of the merger. He couldn't reject that. The earlier they were done with that, the earlier Kohan would take leave.

His thoughts were broken as he looked down. Rin was clinging onto him tightly. Her eyes were closed still but her lips were moving, muttering some words humans would never make out.

But Sesshoumaru knew. Rin had called his name.

He closed his own eyes, trying to get some sleep of his own as his fingers stroked her hair rhythmically. The softness of it, of her, together with her soft sweet scent, had always managed to bring him peace. Even Rin herself had calmed down significantly. She was in a much quieter state of rest.

He picked up her rising pulse, knowing immediately that she was able to wake. And true enough, when he looked down at her, she had already half opened her eyes, staring back at his own.

"Sesshoumaru…." She tried to pull herself up but he stopped her, holding her to him firmly. "You… came…"

"Yes… The dinner ended late." He felt her shudder.

Just realizing that she had been brought back into her bed, the girl hid a contented grin as she sank into his chest.

"This Sesshoumaru wishes he'd come sooner…" There was a hint of regret in his tone and the girl smiled.

"It's okay. I'm alright on my own."

"So you say." She heard him smirk. "I found you in the closet."

"Well…" A little self conscious, the girl chuckled. "I was perfectly alright on my own in the closet."

"These wolves… Do they still bother you like they do in the past?"

"I know I'm no longer child, Sesshoumaru… and… I shouldn't be…but…." The girl defended herself, feeling indignant. She didn't wish for her lord to think of her as one who was weak. Never.

"Yes, I would have thought so… if I hadn't found you in the closet." He was merely attempting a joke but he could sense her displeasure. Perhaps, he'd really gone too far. She was going to be sixteen soon. Moreover, Rin had gone all silent. "Rin…"

"Sesshoumaru…" She lifted her head to meet his gaze and the demon lord instantly confirmed that she was genuinely upset by his remark. "Am I no more than a child to you?"

"Rin…It was not my intention to make you think that."

"Will you ever see me as … a lady?"

"Rin…."

"If you don't, then why did you…." Her words were lost as she felt her lips being covered by his. He did not bother to wait, just sank in to kiss her thoroughly. Trembling as she responded to him, her hands clinging nervously onto the corners of the sleeves of his night kimono.

They didn't know how long they'd kissed but when it ended, both had to take a while to recover from the heat.

"Sesshoumaru…." Rin's face was still flushed as she caught her breath.

"Yes?"

"You shouldn't be doing that with a child."

The demon lord smirked. By gosh… his Rin was still mad at his previous remark. He couldn't help but to smile. "Do you wish me to stop?"

That question proved to be a tricky one for the girl. If she'd answered 'yes', Sesshoumaru would never try to make advancements on her anymore. That was definitely NOT what she wished. But if she'd answered 'no', she'd have sounded really… really …well… unladylike…. Desperate. Rin bit her lips, unable to decide.

Sesshoumaru took in all of this smugly, his fingers did not stop caressing her. He knew the girl could never win him in these battles of wit and tongue. But, he felt her dilemma, and he felt how tensed she'd become. He had at first meant to merely tease her, but it turned out to have become quite tormenting for the girl. That was not what he intended. "Rin…"

The demon lord frowned. Rin wasn't answering, and neither was she looking him in the eye. She was having an internal struggle and though he felt bad for making her this way, he could not help but to want to wait for her reply.

Her reply was important. It would mean her courage to admit to how she felt. And he wished that from her. He wished to know how she felt about him. It wasn't that he did not know how much Rin had adored him all this while. He merely wanted to hear it directly from her mouth. Perhaps… Perhaps then, he would also have an answer of his own about her… about them… about the possibility of their future together.

"No…."

His brows lifted, his lips curved a slight smile.

"I'm sorry."

Sesshoumaru frowned again. Why was Rin apologizing?

Her lord was silent and the girl had never been so tormented in her entire life! She had never said such bold audacious words, especially not before him. Rin felt her cheeks heating up rapidly, the immensely growing wave of anxiety and shame was causing tears to shimmer at her lids.

"Rin…"

"I'm sorry…" She blurted in her rush. "…for being so….." The next word hung at the tip of her tongue for a moment. She found it too difficult to have it voiced. As her eyes began to water up, the demon lord realized he had to do something to appease her.

"Rin…"

"I know…." She intercepted him again, as though she was afraid that he spoke first. "I know it's really horrible of me to utter such…" She stopped before that hurting word. "shameless…." It came out in nothing more than a whisper.

"Rin, this Sesshoumaru do not think that of you."

Somehow, the girl had missed that sentence all together in her nervousness. "I-I'll never bear such thoughts again… I…"

Then he kissed her, cutting and canceling out all the fears and burden of her girlish pride. Indeed, such admissions must have been frightening for a young girl of her age. He had been too careless in his words this time. He didn't know how long the kiss lasted but he knew when he broke away, Rin had calmed down significantly. He watched her pant and gasped silently for breath, her eyes still not daring to meet his.

"Rin…"

The girl looked up finally and he brushed away gently a thin line of tears that left a trail down her redden cheeks. She scanned his expressions, waiting for him to continue.

"Are you alright?"

With a new grin, Rin nodded, sniffing a little. She had her answer. She knew now. Sesshoumaru felt the same. These feelings… they were mutual. She snuggled further into his chest and enjoyed a long moment while neither spoke. Rin pulled to her his hanging sleeve where his left hand used to have been and began to draw little circles. Her lord had lost this arm and though she had not witnessed it personally, she had heard many times that it had been severed by Inuyasha. Even though Sesshoumaru had never admitted that he missed that limb, she knew, he would have been more perfect and informidable if he'd still have it. "Sesshoumaru…."

"Yes?"

"Your hand, your left hand…." She stuttered, half wondering if she'd overstepped her boundaries again.

"What about it?" His tone was still calm. Obviously, he wasn't that bothered by her question as she thought.

"Does it still hurt?" Immediately after she had voiced it, she thought she was the greatest fool. Sesshoumaru was a powerful Taiyoukai with amazing healing abilities. Of course, it wouldn't have hurt by now.

But the demon lord knew what was underlying in her question. It was more of the emotional wound she was referring to.

"If you're referring to the fact that it was severed by the likes of a hanyou, yes, this Sesshoumaru had been affected for a while." He paused a while. "But the lost of this limb had only made me stronger." He smiled, as though recalling something important. "I'll miss not having it when it grows back."

Surprised, the girl shifted to gaze up at him. "Grow back? You mean your hand is going to grow back?"

The demon lord chuckled, seeing that his last statement had definitely interested the girl. "Yes, Rin. But it will take a significant amount of time, a hundred years or so perhaps."

"Oh…" A sudden unknown wave of sadness flooded in her. A hundred years eh? She'd have died by then…. She'd never have the chance to see his full recovery.

Sesshoumaru knew instantly what was bothering the girl. He held her to him firmly, not quite knowing how to comfort her. The only way Rin could outlived her human lifespan was…. He sighed. It was something he still could not somehow decide.

"Sesshoumaru…."

"Yes?"

"What is happening to us?"

That was a difficult question to answer but the demon lord knew…. It was only fair if he'd at least to give his honest opinion. "I believe the correct word is …. Courting…. We're… courting…"

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Hi everyone, I know it has been really long. I hope you've been well. I've been away for the summer and my guess is you all are too. Anyway, I've left it hanging for so long. I guess I've been too lazy… plus I haven't got the time to read through this chapter before posting it either… sorri if you spotted glaring mistakes in grammar… will try to do that soon.

Well, R & R pls.


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